Something Unexpected...

It's been over a year since my last post, and so much has changed. We moved into our new house on Valentine's weekend of 2014. I can't believe we've been there for over a year! Wakarusa is a quaint little town with a lot of personality. We won the neighbor game....we have wonderful neighbors on both sides. The house needs some TLC, but we have a few years to spruce it up :)

Despite moving into our new home, last year started a little rocky. Eric resigned from the hospital in April, before he had another job, due to some unforeseen circumstances regarding management. Thankfully, he was offered a new job the next day! God shows His face at the best moments :) His hours got worse, but he was much happier. That November, I left my job at Center for Community Justice to work at Oaklawn Psychiatric Center. Four months later, I'm back at CCJ. Oaklawn is a great facility with some great people doing wonderful things to help people in need of psychiatrice services. However, they have many downfalls, as most organizations do. Unfortunately, I couldn't get past those downfalls and made the decision to leave. I feel like I rushed to get in there and rushed to get right back out, but I did what I had to do....I would wake up in the mornings, sick to my stomach, knowing I had to go to a job I hated with a supervisor who couldn't even help me navigate through the strange job description I had. That same supervisor often told me, "I don't know how to do that; go ask your team members." I felt lost and like I had little training to do a job that need a lot of training.

Thank goodness for caring individuals. On my search for a new job, I walked into CCJ one Friday afternoon hoping to ask Connie and Anne to be a reference as I applied for a new job. Instead, Connie asked if I was interested in an open position there, as an administrative assistant. We took the weekend to think it over, and Monday morning, Connie called to offer me the job. I of course said yes. The next day, I put in my 2 weeks notice and now here I am!

I am loving being back at CCJ, but I'm also having a hard time. Right now my daily struggle is this: Here I sit, with a BSW under my belt and 2 and a half years of experience, and I'm not using my degree. But not using my degree isn't what I'm struggling with...it's the fact that I am doing anything worthwhile. I started college as an education major because I wanted to help children. After realizing I hated teaching, I switched to social work because I STILL wanted to help people and make a difference in at least one person's life. But I'm not. And I struggle every day. Don't get me wrong, I love CCJ and I enjoy what I'm doing, but I'm not doing anything worthwhile. Here is my amazing, talented, wonderful husband, who in 2 weeks will be a hospice nurse, walking with patients as they prepare to end this life and begin their eternity in Heaven, and got the job without even applying, and I'm answering a phone and making copies.

Regardless of my situation, I'm very excited for Eric as he starts this new journey. I couldn't be more proud of him and all that he has accomplished. He has more compassion (and passion) than anyone I have ever met....except maybe my dad. That's probably why I fell in love with him.

For now, I will continue praying that I find my place in this world. Until next time....

lots of love,
s